Does your child get angry often, hit, yell, or throw things? Causes, meaning, and recommendations for parents on anger and aggressive behaviors.
🔥 What is Anger, Why Does It Occur?
Anger is a natural emotion in children, just as it is in all humans.
However, since children have not yet fully learned to express their emotions verbally, anger is often expressed through behaviors such as hitting, yelling, crying, or throwing things.
Research shows that anger tantrums in children aged 3-6 are a natural part of development; however, when they become persistent, there may be underlying unregulated emotions or attachment issues. (Eisenberg et al., Developmental Psychology, 2001)
💭 Emotions Behind Anger and Aggression
Behind a child's anger usually lies:
- Frustration (not getting what they want)
- Feeling unheard
- Fatigue or hunger
- Jealousy or competitive feelings
- Anxiety and fear
Anger is often a "call for help." It's the child's way of saying "hear me, understand me."
What Can Parents Do?
- Stay calm: Children model their parent's emotional tone.
- Separate behavior, accept emotion: Phrases like "I see you're angry, but hitting is not a solution" balance the child's need to be understood and to see boundaries.
- Teach alternatives: "When you're angry, you can take deep breaths, hit a pillow, or calm down in your room for a bit."
- Notice positive behavior: Be sure to appreciate when they express anger verbally.
- Set consistent boundaries: Give the same response each time. Inconsistency creates confusion in the child.
A study found that aggressive behaviors significantly decreased in children whose parents set consistent boundaries and communicated empathically. (Krpan et al., Journal of Child and Family Studies, 2019)
When is Professional Support Needed?
If the child:
- Frequently harms others
- Has prolonged anger tantrums
- Shows behaviors like breaking things or self-harm
- Is significantly more reactive than peers
it is recommended to seek professional support from a psychological counselor or child psychologist.
This is not just a "discipline issue"; it often indicates that the child's emotional regulation skills need support.
Conclusion
Children's anger needs to be understood, not suppressed.
A parent's patient, firm, and understanding attitude helps the child learn to express emotions in healthy ways.
Need Support?
If you're struggling to understand your child's anger or want support on this issue, please contact us.
📚 References:
- Eisenberg, N., et al. (2001). Regulation, resiliency, and quality of social functioning. Developmental Psychology, 37(4).
- Krpan, K. M., et al. (2019). Parenting, emotion regulation, and aggression. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 28(9).
- American Psychological Association (APA). Managing Anger in Children.
